Hello, everyone! I’ll make this quick: My car needs new brakes if I don’t want to die while driving, so I have a $650 bill on my hands, and I’m trying to pay it in a creative way. I’ve decided to fall back on the thing I do best (writing), the thing that might have the most appeal (treats), and whatever else I can pull out of my ass.

~WRITING~

Ficlets: $10/page (about 500 words) – This is what I’m most known for around here, and the feedback has been very positive, so I’ve decided to offer my skills up to anyone that has a little idea that they’d like to see in motion. The page amount that you pay for is the minimum; I tend to be long-winded, so if I go over, that’s just bonus for you.

I can write competently within the following fandoms: Sonic the Hedgehog, Dragon Ball, Rurouni Kenshin, Ranma ½, Portal, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, The Legend of Zelda, and Doctor Who. I can try to go outside of these stories, but my accuracy may be off.

Poems: $3 each – This is something else that’s gone over well in the past, so I decided to offer it up as well. My shorty poems are 4 lines long, with at least the second and third line rhyming. You may choose whatever topic you like.

Letters: $5 each – To be specific, in-character letters. They can be to and from whomever you like (usually; I’m not omniscient), and will average about a page. The reason these are cheaper than ficlet pages is that they’re less difficult for me to do. For franchises with which I’m familiar enough to write character letters, refer to the list in the ficlet section.

~TASTY TREATS~

Sonic and Portal Chocolates: $3 (plain), $5 (special) per piece – Exactly what it says on the tin! I have the means to make chocolates of Sonic in one of his iconic poses, or of companion cubes. Each chocolate will be made with a stick for easy consumption.

I can offer the following special flavors: +peanut butter, +mocha, +strawberry, +cinnamon, +pumpkin, +whipped cream, +graham cracker, and +white chocolate.

Feel free to ask for other specialty flavors, and I’ll see if I can accommodate you!

Portal Cookies: $3 each – Fini-mun has a set of Portal cookie cutters that she’s told me I can use whenever I want, and this seems like as good of a time as any. There are cutters for the figure from the warning signs, the companion cube, and the portals themselves. For the moment, I’m only going to offer sugar cookie dough and white or chocolate frosting, just for the sake of ease. Don’t be afraid to inquire about other flavors, though, because I’ll see what I can do for you if possible!

~ARTWORK~

BUY THIS SHIT AT YOUR OWN RISK. I am by no means an artist, and even though I think I can do nice things sometimes, I’m definitely not at the level where I think I should set up a commission list. Still, I know some people out there like bad doodles, so I may as well put this up here too.

Shitty Doodles: $5 each

~AUCTIONS~

I may as well plug this too, since I do have stuff that needs to go away, and it worked out for raising holiday money. I have a lot of collectibles (mostly gaming and anime related) that need new homes, so if you might be interested, click here. If you don’t see something you like right now, check back in a few days, because I’m always cycling through items.

Thank you to everyone that signal boosts this message, because even getting the word out will be a big help! I really appreciate it!